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You Only Get So Many Summers—Here’s Why That Matters

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Welcome to another edition of the 1% Habits Newsletter!

This is where you’ll get up-to-date information on small wins to improve your habits, productivity, and life satisfaction. 

Let’s get to it.

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📈 You Only Get So Many Summers—Here’s Why That Matters

I want to start today’s email with a simple but powerful idea that’s been on my mind lately—something called The Tail End. It’s a concept that completely changed how I think about time, relationships, and what really matters. But before I get to that, let me share a little story about my family.

I have two wonderful boyss—a 5-year-old and a 9-year-old. Before we had kids, my wife and I traveled all over the place. We’d hop on planes and explore new cities, beaches, and countries. But since having the kids, we’ve fallen into a pattern of taking family trips to the same vacation spots again and again—Cape Cod, for example. It’s a beautiful place, but honestly, it’s starting to feel repetitive.

This year, we vowed to add more variety to our lives and give the kids new experiences. So in about a month, we’re taking a 3-week road trip to Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island in Canada. It’s not super adventurous by some standards, but it’s a departure from our usual routine, and we’re excited.

This whole thing reminded me of probably my favorite piece of content of all time: The Tail End, a thoughtful article by Tim Urban on Wait But Why. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend you check it out here: The Tail End.

The Math of Time With Our Loved Ones

Here’s the part that really hit me: when you think about the total amount of time you’ll spend with your kids before they turn 18, it’s actually a huge percentage of your lifetime together. Over 90% of the time you’ll ever spend with them happens before they become adults and start their own lives.

Talking with my wife about this, I realized something sobering: we basically only have 9 more summers left to take interesting vacations with our oldest before he turns 18. Nine. That’s it.

It’s not just vacations, either. Think about the daily moments, the school events, the bedtime stories, the conversations. The time we get with our kids is finite—and the “tail end” of that time is creeping closer every day.

And it’s not just about kids. If your parents or grandparents live in another town, think about how often you actually see them. If you see your parents once or twice a year and they’re in their 60s or 70s, you may only have a couple dozen more visits left in your entire life. That’s a sobering thought, but it’s also a wake-up call to make those visits count.

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What Is The Tail End?

Tim Urban’s article breaks down how we spend our time with the people we love into “tail ends”—the last fractions of our total time together. The idea is simple but profound: no matter how much time you think you have left with someone, it’s always less than you imagine. And when you start to quantify it, it puts everything into perspective.

Urban highlights three key lessons from The Tail End that I think are worth sharing:

1) Living in the Same Place as the People You Love Matters

You probably have 10 times more time left with the people who live in your city than with those who live far away. This means proximity is a huge factor in how much face time you’ll get with loved ones. It’s a reminder to cherish the family and friends who are physically close—because those moments are more abundant (but still precious).

Action Step: If you have people you love living nearby, make it a point to see them more often. Schedule regular dinners, walks, or coffee dates—even if it’s just for 30 minutes. Don’t let the convenience of proximity lull you into taking these relationships for granted.

2) Priorities Matter

Your remaining time with any person depends largely on where that person falls on your list of life priorities. It’s easy to let inertia decide who you spend time with, but if you want meaningful relationships, you need to be intentional. Make sure your priorities reflect the people you truly care about, not just your default routine.

Action Step: Take a few minutes to write down the people who matter most to you. Are you spending as much quality time with them as you’d like? If not, what small changes could you make to shift your schedule or your habits? Sometimes, it’s as simple as putting recurring reminders on your calendar to call, text, or visit.

3) Quality Time Matters

If you’re in the last 10% of time with someone you love—whether it’s your kids, parents, or close friends—keep that fact front and center. Treat every moment as the precious gift it is. It’s not about quantity alone but the quality of the time you share.

Action Step: When you’re with someone important, put away your phone. Listen deeply. Ask questions. Make new memories together, even if it’s just a walk around the block or a silly game in the living room. If you’re visiting family you don’t see often, plan an activity you’ll both remember, rather than just defaulting to small talk.

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Making The Tail End Work for You

The Tail End isn’t meant to make us anxious or sad. Instead, it’s a call to action—a reminder to live with intention and gratitude. Here are a few more ways to put this idea into practice:

1. Plan “Bucket List” Moments Now

Don’t wait for the “right time” to travel, take that trip, or start a new tradition. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do with your kids, partner, or parents, put it on the calendar and make it happen this year—even if it’s something small.

2. Create Rituals

Rituals don’t have to be fancy. Maybe it’s Sunday pancakes, Friday movie nights, or a monthly board game with friends. These recurring moments become the glue of family and friendship, and they’re often what we remember most.

3. Reconnect With Old Friends

If there’s someone you’ve lost touch with but still care about, reach out. Send a text, make a call, or set up a coffee. The number of times you’ll see them again is probably smaller than you think.

4. Reflect and Reset Regularly

Every few months, take stock of how you’re spending your time. Are you happy with the balance? Are there relationships you want to nurture more? Use The Tail End as a lens to help you course-correct before too much time slips by.

5. Be Present

It’s easy to be physically present but mentally elsewhere. Next time you’re with someone you love, challenge yourself to truly be there—no distractions, no multitasking. Sometimes the best memories come from just being fully engaged in the moment.

Your Turn

I encourage you to take a moment today to evaluate your relationships through the lens of The Tail End. Who do you have the most time left with? Who do you want to spend more time with? Are your priorities aligned with those answers?

If you haven’t already, take a look at Tim Urban’s original article here: The Tail End. It’s a beautiful reminder that time is our most valuable resource—and how we choose to spend it shapes our lives.

Reflection Questions:

 Who do you want to see more often, and what’s one thing you can do this week to make that happen?

 Are there relationships you’ve neglected that you’d like to revive?

 What’s one “tail end” moment you can plan in the next month—big or small?

Thanks for reading, and here’s to making the most of the tail ends we have left.

Talk soon,

Steve

Today’s featured video, Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, explores the most common regrets people express at the end of their lives, based on the insights of palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware. The video reveals that many of these regrets center around time: wishing they’d spent more of it with loved ones, lived truer to themselves, and allowed themselves to be happier.

This message deeply connects to today’s theme from The Tail End. Both remind us that our time with the people we love is limited and precious. The regrets shared in the video are a powerful call to action—don’t wait until it’s too late to prioritize relationships, create meaningful memories, and live intentionally. If you’re reflecting on how to make the most of your “tail ends,” this video is a moving and practical guide for living with fewer regrets and more connection.

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