The #1 Benefit of Saying NO

Welcome to the Introvert Millionaire Habits Newsletter!

Here is what we’ll cover in today’s issue:

● The #1 Benefit of Saying No

● My favorite book on financial independence

● How to Get Started with Self-Publishing

● The Resource Roundup

Let’s get to it…

— SPONSORED AD —

We are a few weeks into a new quarter.

So make it count by focusing on a breakthrough goal.

One way to do this is with my course:

90 Days to Your #1 Goal: How to Achieve a Breakthrough Goal in Under 3 Months

Whether it's starting a business, getting in shape, or writing a book, this course is your step-by-step framework to make it happen.

Each of the 7 lessons provides you with clear guidance, from pinpointing exactly what you want to achieve, to creating a daily plan that you can start on immediately.

So check out 90 Days to Your Goal today to take your goal-achievement efforts to the next level.

— END SPONSORED AD —

📈 The #1 Benefit of Saying No

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you really wanted to say “No” but rather than risk upsetting that person, you blurted out a reluctant “Yes”?

Let’s face it:

Saying no can be difficult.

We often feel obliged to help others, even when that compromises our own needs.

But here’s the thing - it’s okay to put yourself first.

It’s okay to say “Actually no, I can’t do that” and not feel guilty.

In fact, the biggest benefit of saying no to something is you’re often saying yes to something that truly adds value to your life.

And in today’s featured article, I’ll provide a simple process to help you say no in a way that will align with your values and goals.

Why We’re Afraid to Say No

In her 2013 TEDx Talk, ‘Say No To Say Yes’, Dr. Caryn Aviv explains that we have a deep-rooted fear of saying no. We worry that we won’t be loved or accepted if we don’t agree to what’s being asked of us. And we will in some way be a lesser person for it.

Dr. Aviv goes on to say that when we do finally put our foot down and say no, the repercussions can be difficult to accept. Negative emotions, such as anger and upset, can often be thrown back at us. And the person asking becomes the victim who’s been let down out of the blue.

Saying no, especially after being a yes-person for your whole life, can be difficult. But by setting these personal boundaries, by saying no to the things that just don’t suit your life, you’re saying yes to respect and integrity.

You’re saying yes to the things that are important to you. And yes to walking your own journey, with the time and space to be you.

So here’s a five-step process to say no in a way that will benefit your life.

5 Steps to Effectively Say No

Now that we’ve established why it’s important to say no to the things that don't align with your goals, it’s time to outline exactly how to do it.

Because when you’re a People-Pleaser, when you’re a non-confrontational Yes-Person, it can be hard to override those feelings of “I should just say yes.

So let’s take a look at a step-by-step plan to saying no so you can say yes.

#1. Look at what you want to achieve in life.

What are your goals, both short and long-term, for example:

“Today I want to leave work on time to hit the gym. And in 5 years, I plan on taking a few months off work to travel.”

Knowing where you’re headed will help you to create boundaries that coincide with that, for example, “No, I can’t work late tonight - I’ve got plans.”

(Reminder: To learn more about setting goals, be sure to check out my course.)

#2. Take time to evaluate your options.

Not all decisions have to be made on the spot. If you can, take time to consider the pros and cons of saying yes to something versus saying no.

Ask yourself questions such as:

●     “What will be the repercussions of my answer?”

●     “Are there any advantages to either choice?”

●     “Does this fit in with my plans?”

#3. Remove the fear of rejection from your decision-making.

No one likes being disliked. And the fear of this happening, is often the driving force behind our need to say yes.

We worry that we’re going to be pushed out from the group, or looked down on by our colleagues. And this fear is justification enough to put up with the constant demands.

But life shouldn’t be a popularity contest. Instead, focus on finding people who respect you, your choices, and your boundaries.

#4. Say no.

As with all things in life, practice makes perfect. And that’s no different from saying no to things you don’t want to do.

Start simple, for example, “No thanks” to the barista who points out the discounted cookies while making your coffee-to-go. Or “No I’m good thanks” to the waitress who tries to push an extra drink on your order.

You could try using daily affirmations, such as:

●     “My boundaries are valid, and I honor them assertively.”

●     “I am not responsible for managing everyone else’s expectations.”

●     “Saying ‘no’ allows me to say ‘yes’ to what truly matters to me.”

Be clear, assertive, and committed to your answer.

#5. Don’t explain yourself.

Remember, saying ‘No’ is your right. It doesn’t need to come with a list of reasons why, unless of course, you want to.

No in itself is the answer.

Example of the Say No Framework

Hopefully, by now you’ll have a clear understanding of why and how to say no to things that just don’t fit in with your life. Not all situations will align with your boundaries. And that’s okay.

It’s also okay to find the idea of saying no uncomfortable. But with the help of this “Say No So You Can Say Yes” example, you’ll see that it doesn’t need to be.

Let’s picture Daniel - a mid-30s guy, who’s bogged down with expectations from work and family.

Life very much feels like Groundhog Day with no way out.

It’s time to make changes. And Daniel’s first step is to figure out what he wants from life. He makes a list of a few things and sees that feeling healthier sits right at the top.

The problem is, with working such long hours, Daniel often grabs a working lunch with colleagues, topped off with a late-night take-out. And he can feel all that junk food taking a toll, not only on his waistline but also on his moods.

As someone who always struggled in school, Daniel now goes out of his way to fit in. He wants to be accepted by his co-workers. And so, he reluctantly says “Yes” to the daily fast food trips, despite the added pressure on his time and diet.

Now certain that his priorities need to shift, it’s time for Daniel to evaluate his options:

1. Continue saying “Yes” to the lunch trips. Sure, it leaves him bloated and lethargic in the afternoon. But he feels accepted by the group and declining could rock that boat.

2. Say “No” to everyday dining out. There might be a few joking comments from his co-workers, and they’ll probably stop inviting him after a while. But the pressure Daniel currently feels to join in with burgers and questionable banter jokes would be gone.

Of course, on paper, the second option made more sense. It fitted in with Daniel’s goal to get healthier. And freed up a chunk of his always-busy schedule.

But fear of rejection from the group played on his mind. Being accepted, even if the reasons behind it are questionable, has always been a priority for Daniel, only that has to change.

For him to reach his healthier goals, Daniel needs to put aside those fears and focus on his own needs.

And so, come lunchtime the next day, Daniel took a deep breath and said “No” to the office outing. He’d come prepared with sandwiches and a box of grapes. And felt ready to prioritize his needs.

When asked “Why aren’t you coming?” Daniel replied “I’m good here thanks.
And as his coworkers left for Friday's fried chicken, his decision to put his needs first felt good.

Final Thoughts on Saying No

No matter where you are in life, it’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs. Remember, it’s not selfish to say no, but rather a necessary part of self-care.

By saying no to things that don’t fit in with your life or goals, you’re freeing up space to do more of the things that actually matter to you.

People-pleasing won’t make you happy in the long term. So start saying ‘No’ to their demands. And ‘Yes’ to doing what makes you feel good about life.

💲Wealth Building Wisdom

We all have those books that we love to share with others.

Today’s “Wealth Building Wisdom” features my #1 all-time favorite book about financial independence:

The Simple Path to Wealth by JL Collins

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, this book is singularly responsible for helping me become financially independent.

Before reading it, I was wasting my time (and money) focusing on investment strategies that were getting me nowhere.

But after reading The Simple Path to Wealth, I found myself on the right path (pun intended) toward creating lifelong wealth. 

💡 Solopreneurship Spotlight

From 2012 to 2020, I ran a successful self-publishing business, consistently delivering a new book to my readers every few months.

However, the continuous cycle of writing, editing, marketing, and publishing eventually took its toll, leading to burnout—a state not uncommon in the writing community, where the pressure to produce can be intense.

After a four-year hiatus, I often find myself fielding questions about the ins and outs of self-publishing.

The landscape of publishing is ever-evolving, and strategies that were effective a few years ago may no longer yield the same results.

This leaves me hesitant to offer specific advice, as I can't be certain that the methods I used are still relevant today.

But for those looking to dive into the world of self-publishing, I highly recommend "Creative Business Books for Writers and Authors" by Joanna Penn.

Joanna is a seasoned author who excels in crafting both fiction and nonfiction works. She has a knack for distilling her extensive knowledge into accessible content for other writers.

Her collection of books, bundled together for convenience, is available for download on Amazon. These resources are an excellent starting point for anyone eager to explore the possibilities of self-publishing, offering current, actionable guidance based on Joanna's own successful practices.

🗂️ The Resource Roundup

💵 How to Get Rich as an Introvert. – In this podcast episode, Noah Kagan encourages introverts to leverage their inherent strengths to achieve financial success. He offers practical advice and suggests adopting tailored approaches to excel in entrepreneurship.

➖ 30 Areas of Life Where Subtracting Can Add More – This article explores the concept of subtraction as a path to a more fulfilling life. When you intentionally remove excess (possessions, commitments, and distractions) to make room for what truly matters, you experience greater clarity, freedom, and joy.

⚙️ The Ultimate Guide to Unstoppable Motivation – Nir Eyal discusses the importance of understanding the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, as well as the role of autonomy, mastery, and purpose in maintaining drive to help cultivate resilient motivation.

😛 Einstein's 7 rules for a better life – This article presents seven life principles inspired by Albert Einstein's wisdom, offering actionable advice for achieving fulfillment and success.

⚛️ 10 Life-Changing Lessons from Atomic Habits (Book Summary) by James Clear – This article highlights 10 key lessons distilled from James Clear's bestselling book "Atomic Habits," offering actionable insights to cultivate positive behaviors and providing practical tips for building lasting change.

Well, that’s it for today.

Hope you’re having a great start to your week!

Talk soon

Cheers,

Steve Scott 

P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are a few ways I can help you:

#1. 90 Days to Your #1 Goal: How to Achieve a Breakthrough Goal in Under 3 Months: Whether it's starting a business, getting in shape, or writing a book, this course is your step-by-step framework to make it happen.

#2. Steve on Twitter: Get up-to-date messages and threads. I publish a few times a day on this platform.

#3. What is Your #1 Challenge?: Are you struggling with something specific? If so, can you take a few minutes to answer this one-question survey. It's a simple question, but your answer is a big deal. This will help me create reports, guides, and free content that tackle your biggest challenges.